what i would have said if i had had the words

My daughter shared this poem with me. It was given to her by one of the therapists at the Behavioral Med Center.

***

LISTEN!
Author Unknown

When I ask you to listen to me
And you start giving me advice,
You have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me
And you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,
You have failed me, strange as that may seem.

All I asked was that you listen,
Not to talk or do  - Just to hear me.

Advice is cheap; twenty cents will get you
Both Dear Abby and Billy Graham
In the same newspaper.

And I can do for myself; I am not helpless.
Maybe discouraged and faltering,
But not helpless.

When you do something for me
That I can and need to do myself,
You contribute to my fear and inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,
No matter how irrational, than I can quit trying to convince you
And can get about this business of understanding
What's behind this irrational feeling.

And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.
Irrational feelings make sense when
We understand what's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes
For some people - because God is mute,
And He doesn't give advice or
Try to fix things.

He just listens and lets you work it
Out for yourself...

So please listen and just hear me.

And if you want to talk, wait a minute
For your turn and I'll listen to you.