can i give you some advice?

It never ceases to amaze me how people are so eager to give you advice when it comes to parenting. It does not matter that

• they do not have children or
• their children are much younger than mine or
• that they have never experienced what I am going through or
• that they have zero training or professional experience in the thing with which I am dealing.

So I haven't told many people about what is going on with my family. I find that the things that most people say in response to my situation only angers me. I am self-aware enough to realize this has more to do with me not being in a good place rather than with them being complete idiots. But it angers me just the same.

So can I give you some advice?  If you know someone in crisis, and they aren't in immediate danger, keep your advice to yourself. Shut up and just listen. Hold my hand. Hug me. Make compassionate, comforting noises. But keep your advice to yourself.

I don't care that your brother-in-law's godmother's nephew's girlfriend went through the exact same thing. I don't care how they got through it. I don't care what they did to resolve it.

I don't need to know that you think I brought this on myself. That I was a terrible parent for not seeing the signs. That I made and am continuing to make all the wrong decisions.

You don't have to tell me that I need to do something. That I am in denial. That I am being selfish or not thinking clearly. Or that my attitude sucks.

I don't care if you think my child's therapist is crazy. Or that our case isn't "that bad." Or that you are questioning the validity or appropriateness of what we have been told to do or has been prescribed. Even if I ask for your opinion, unless you are a trained professional in the exact area in which I am suffering, keep it to yourself.

The best thing you can do is to listen, to encourage me to cry and vent and get my frustrations out. And to keep your advice to yourself.